To: Me

Dear you,

This is what you wrote for me. And I know when you write this, you think about me. And it’s always about me. Always been, always will. Thanks for every thing that you’d given to me. Thanks for the love we shared. Thanks for giving me a chance to be loved by you.

It kills me to admit that I’m right

I don’t know how to say this.
I don’t even know where to begin…

I’m just not good for you.
I can’t be there for you.
I’m not real for you.
And often times we say goodbye to the person we love without wanting to.
Though that doesn’t mean that we’ve stopped loving them or we’ve stopped to care.
Sometimes goodbye is a painful way to say I love you.

And somehow I knew that this moment would come in time.
That I’d have to let you go.

This sucks and I am dying inside.
I wish that you never read this.
I wish that we could keep on going the way we are.
But I can’t do this to you.
This isn’t fair for you.
And it kills me to know that I’m right when I say this.

But we’ll always have these great memories, and you know what?
Sometimes the memories are worth the pain.

Today was one of those days where everything I did reminded me of you,
and every song I heard somehow related to you.
I hate days like today because they remind me of the one thing I can’t have and why it is that I can’t get over you.

But do you want to know what my problem is?
I will tell you what my problem is,

~I LOVE YOU~

I love your name,
I love the way you look at me,
I love your gorgeous smile,
I love your beautiful eyes,
I love the way you laugh,
And to hear your voice would fill my entire heart with an indescribable feeling.
I love the way I can be having the worst day of my life and seeing you completely changes my mood.
I love how when you touch me I get weak,

That’s what it is.
That is my problem…

I’m IN love with you.

And I think it’s time that I let you go.
And it’s really hard for me to do because I know that there’s a part of me that will be in love with you for the rest of my life.
But this while running in place and day dreaming is just not healthy for either of us.

I would like to thank you for showing me a side of myself that I have never seen.

Meeting you was fate.
Becoming your friend was a choice.
But falling in love with you?

Well THAT I had no control over.

I can’t believe how much I’m hurting.
I don’t want to let you go.
I wanted you to be a REAL part of my life.
But I guess that’s where I had to draw the line.

Maybe I’m just having a bad day.
Maybe I’m just missing you too much.
Maybe, if I could just see you again, everything would be better.
Everything would be fine.
Everything would be normal again.

…just maybe

 

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